Why did the chicken cross the road?


Yeah, I know. That is one old joke. But not any older than those tired notions we carry around comparing ourselves to others and always coming up short.


It is so easy to walk around believing that we are the only ones that can’t seem to get it right, believing that change or evolving means we messed up the first time around.


That’s what I thought when my first husband fell in love with someone else. I took it to mean I wasn’t enough.


And then along came my second marriage where outwardly I had everything I could possibly want, but every night after dinner my little family of three all went separate ways, each to their own corner of our rambling 4500 square foot house.


Ending that 20-year relationship with everything at stake, my son’s well being, my own sense of worth, and the hurt and sense of loss inflicted on all three of us was almost more than I could bear.


I thought I failed. But what I was doing was evolving, maybe not in a conscious way.


I was carrying around with me a constant barrage of thoughts, that triggered emotions that kept me in a lot of pain. Would I have divorced if I had known then what I know now? I can’t say.


This I do know however. The only constant is change. We change every day. Without getting way too scientific here, just know that every cell in our body moves, shifts, reforms or dies daily dependent on age, environment, how we care for our physical being, and yes, even or most especially, what we carry around in our minds.


The tricky part is that we are usually so busy in our daily routine or habitual patterns we don’t catch the subtle shifts. Until one day we wake up and wonder how we got to where we are.


So, back to our chicken. Why did he cross the road? To get to the other side of course.


Why do we want to learn to become aware of the thoughts and habits that guide us? Because then, like the chicken, we get to decide whether we want to cross the road, go around the block or just sit under a tree.


How do we begin to “catch” the myriad of thoughts (between 45,000 and 65,000/day) to know which ones take us in the direction we want to go and which ones don’t? We begin a writing practice.


No one has it all together, don’t be fooled by appearances. We will never be perfect, or have it all together either, sorry to tell you that. But the sooner we begin to truly recognize where we are and what guides us, the sooner we get to choose our direction, mold our evolution, truly plan our future.


Do you want to cross the road? Maybe, maybe not. Begin a writing practice and you will have more clarity about how to answer that.

Start today. Join my daily Facebook lives for free one minute writing tips to begin a writing practice that gives you as much awareness as our friend the chicken.


Or catch my free Masterclass on Wednesday night, March 14th at 6:30 central. I will show you the 9 steps to becoming Untangled in your thoughts and Rewriting your life.

#evolution #awareness #future #dreams #writing

What’s stopping you from living your happiest life?


Sometimes the words flow, the ideas gel and everything comes together so easily it feels fake. Today is not one of those days. Today I have been at my computer for hours and have nothing to show for it but deleted documents.


The words seem stuck somewhere between stupid and boring.


What I wanted to share was how change is inevitable and how sometimes doing something new or different feels like the scariest thing in the world, but when you make those first few steps the feelings become more closely aligned with excitement. And excitement and fear often very much the same.


I wanted to say something that would reach you so deeply, you would feel heard and understood. That you would know that you aren’t alone, that no matter who you are or where you are, we all get scared. We all fight change. We all resist. We all have that little voice inside that says, “whoa, wait a minute. Who do you think you are to try that?”


I wanted to tell you how I’ve decided to marry again and take my business in a different direction, not because I wanted to say, “hey, look at me”, but because then I could tell you that as happy and excited as I am, I have anxiety too.


Because I could rattle off a long list of what seem like past failures, my marriages (yes, two not one), changing direction in my business after three years and two books supporting one direction, not being fluent in my new adoptive language, not meeting the finish date on my novel.


I could hold on to these things as evidence that I am not good enough, that I shouldn’t risk getting married, working on my French; that I should just chuck my novel and plod along the same course for my business, after all my second book is coming out in print soon and my publishers are fully expecting me to do my part to launch it.  I could dig in, avoid change. I could.


Or I could rush into life, jump off the cliff and see what happens.


Some of my friends see me as fearless. I smile when they tell me this, because yes I am, some days.


I am just now finishing this letter to you, because as I said at the beginning, yesterday was a challenge day. So, I stopped, went for a walk on the beach, collected some shells and then came home. I sat down pulled out a notebook and took the time to ask myself where I was and what I needed. As it turned out, I wanted a break. I wanted to just chill out and not feel guilty. So, I did. I poured a glass of wine and cuddled up on the sofa with the TV remote.


But, taking the time to get in touch with what I needed allowed me to untangle the negative messages from the truth. It allowed me to invite curiosity in and release the horde of mean voices that wanted to tell me I failed.


And that is what I most wanted to share with you, not everything you try comes up sunshine and unicorns. Not every day works out like you expect. Not every decision yields the outcome you were hoping for.


But, what if you were able to unmask, to be vulnerable, ask for what you want, to pursue your passions that way a toddler pursues learning to walk, to untangle the narrative of your life with a sense of wonder and curiosity instead of judgment?


What if the next time you had an argument with your spouse or lover, instead of hearing hopeless or anger or fear, you just sat down for 20 minutes and wrote all the things that you were thinking out in a list and then asked yourself if they were really true statements?


What if you did that the next time you said something negative to yourself, just stopped for a minute, wrote it down and looked at the words?


There is something magical that happens when you take your thoughts out of your head, write them down on a piece of paper and look at them in black and white (or purple and white if you are me. I like colored inks.)


Give it a try. Instead of defaulting to a bad mental loop of berating thoughts the next time something goes sideways, write it down. Ask yourself if it is true? And even if you decide it is, ask yourself if it something you want to keep.


What a thrill it is when you realize you get to choose what you want to believe, about everything.


You become fearless too.





It was a warm spring day, no wait, it was cold, the rain beat against the window, no, snow, yes, snow was falling, no, crisp fall breeze sounds better, yes, that’s it, no…wait.


That was my brain for a few months while I fought the pull. It’s what happens when we feel we should go one way, but the little voice is telling us to go another.


I had spent four years creating a business that centered around writing “that” book you always dreamed of writing. Four years and two books of my own, both published. The second coming out in print very soon, and my publisher wanting me to jump on the book promotion bandwagon.


But my heart and soul wanted me to go in another direction. I was the one writing the book (Only after a journey that took 7 years). You are not quite there yet.


I realized that, finally. And yes, I can help you write your book in a year. Yes, I love doing that. But before you can write that book, you have to know what you want to say. You have to know your story. You have to “untangle” your narrative.


I feel you out there, not sure how to begin, where to go, who to talk to.


That’s why I am here. I see you. I want to tell you, you can do this.


You can write yourself out of pain, confusion, the “dark night of the soul”, into joy, passion and clarity.


I will show you how because I have done it. Let’s get started. There is no better time than now.


Untangled and Rewritten because U R ready




magic is closer

than it appears

There is magic in the everyday, if we can stop long enough to see it. Here is a fun way to catch some magic today.

1. Listen for the laughter of a child today (3's better, cause the
more the merrier, but just one will do.)

2. Remember how you felt the last time you helped someone
without any expectations at all. It might be a simple as
holding a door, carrying a package, or helping your neighbor
catch their dog. It could be as big as caring for a sick loved
one, or anonymously paying a bill for someone else. Just
think back to that specific moment and hold on to that

3. Think back to the very last perfect moment you spent with a
loved one. It could be a partner, spouse, lover, child, sibling
parent or friend. What were you doing? Can you repeat it?

And now, to stir the magic up a bit, write down the first emotion you had for each one of these memories. Then write down the thought that followed it.

Write a short paragraph you can look at every day using these emotions and thoughts. It doesn't have to be poetic, or Shakespearean, perfect or even grammatically correct. It just should be heartfelt.

Print it out on pretty paper or decorate it if you would like to. Place it where you can see it every day.

And voila! Let the magic begin.

How is your New Year starting out?



    I recently had a chance encounter with a lovely lady that I wished I had spent more time getting to know. We met on a 9 hour flight across the Atlantic. I was the window, she was the aisle seat. Unfortunately, we didn’t exchange more than, “I hate to bother you, but can I get out?” type conversation until the last 45 minutes of the flight.

    Why? I am an introvert. I had just spent weeks in the “on” position. My battery wasn’t just dead, it was past recharging.

    1 + 1- a person bouncing between life in Paris (France, not Texas) and Birmingham (Alabama, not England) + 20 days socializing in the holiday season and prepping for my imminent 3 month departure = burnout. (Of course, if the large, burly French version of a TSA agent had his way, I might be stateside permanently. Apparently, my math skills failed and as such I erred, equating to 4 days over the 90 I am allowed. This to me, seemingly small, unintentional oversite, to him was an insurmountable international incident, in which I “completely disrespected my privileges and was unworthy of a return visit” or something along those lines, he was speaking very rapidly in French. This is a story for another time. Let’s just say that when he leaned down to the gap in the window that separated us and crooked his finger for me to join him, I was happy it was bullet proof. He repeated admonitions, repetition of my infraction and a requirement of my solemn promise to stay away for a MINIMUM OF 90 DAYS, in both French and English, multiple times, despite me nodding in the affirmative so rapidly I looked like a bobble head on a dirt road. My assurance that it had been a mistake, not an intentional act of social disobedience worthy of imprisonment was ineffective.)

    Afterwards, settling gratefully into my Air France seat, my only thoughts were of escape and the solitude I intended to create with the complimentary headphones and eye pillows. I was sure I did not want to talk to another soul for the next 12 hours. At least that is what I believed at the time.

Putting on my best, “I am really a nice person, but just leave me alone” expression, I smiled politely at my aisle seat companion, flipped the tray table down, cranked on the radio, pumped up the leg support and sat back.


    Meanwhile, next to me sat this very interesting, very intelligent woman, who happened to be in a much more painful place. Still she smiled. She never complained about the inconvenience of having to get up three times to let me out, or looked in the least bit annoyed. If we had never spoken, I would have told you she had the world by the tail. She was beautiful and seemingly had it all together. Funny how deceptive appearances can be.

    I didn’t discover anything about her until Air France monopolized the sound system with the requisite landing information requiring us to return to our seats and replace the headphones, thus leaving me with nothing to hide behind.

   In the few minutes we talked, she shared her story, with dignity, a touching sense of gratitude and hope, and a complete acknowledgment of personal responsibility. (Although she had done nothing to warrant the events that created so much pain for her.)

  She told me that she needed to find direction, make some decisions. I just nodded, smiled supportively and patted her shoulder.

    I would have loved having her for a client, but I was locked in a mental battle between a very real desire to support her and the voice in my head that kept saying I should refer her. So, what did I do? Not enough.

    I gave her some truths about who she was, strong, beautiful, smart, that, “I understand and know you can do it speech we seldom want to hear when we are sharing very deep emotions”.

    Today as I sat writing this, the gray skies parted (literally) and I can see so much more clearly. In my own defense, I am not sure I had enough at that moment to give anyone, but still, the realization that I had been so busy in my own head or so concerned she might think I was trying to sell her my services that I missed a crucial element.

We are placed in positions at moments that reveal to us a reflection of who we could become.


    I am a Life Coach. I coach women, particularly women who need to write themselves into a happier existence, gain clarity and find direction. My business is also about writing. I use writing to gain a deeper understanding of myself and others. Writing has gotten me through some of the hardest, darkest parts of my life. But is has also been a joyful excursion through some of my greatest blessings.

    Writing is magic. Writing is transformative. Telling your story, even if no one else ever reads it, will change your life. It will also, again, even if no one else ever reads it, change the world. Because when you change, you cannot help but change others.

So, if you sit next to me on a plane, speak up. Don’t be fooled by my lack of initiative. I would love to hear your story.