It is already December 10th as I write this to you. The last of 2018 is rolling along. I get this crazy nostalgic, panicky feeling around this time every year.
It is a strange combination of joy at the season, the lights, the bustle, and the question –who have I forgotten to buy a gift for? And the darker one - did I live this year in the best possible way?
Not to be a Debbie Downer right before St. Nick hits the chimney, but this is what prompts that last question -
In December 2008 I was with my mom after her third, and terminal, cancer diagnosis. My sisters were there and we were, according to my mom’s instructions – which by the way NO ONE disobeyed –having a “cry fest” so, as she put it, “we could get it all out and done with”. Like that was going to happen. It didn’t help that Christmas was my mother’s favorite time of year.
One year later I was decorating an empty house, alone. My only son was in college and my now ex-husband had just moved out. Did I mention it was a big ass house? Oh well, I went all teal, lime green and silver that year and got to buy lots of new decorations!
My answer to life then was, can you guess? JUST–KEEP–MOVING and everything will be ok. The unspoken goal was to stay too busy to notice the emptiness, the sadness, the loss. Because I knew (or rather, feared) that if I ever slowed down long enough to feel what was there – I would never get out of bed again.
So, during the night I woke up almost hourly, my mind racing with anxiety about what I needed to do next to avoid the thoughts that I had failed at my life.
Fortunately, luckily, blessedly, universally guided, inspired by God, synchronistically driven - any and all those wonderful things – whatever you choose to call them, I found a way to not only live, but really live.
I can tell you now with complete transparency, that if I had known then what the next few years would bring, I might seriously have gone back to bed! LOL.
BUT, I can also tell you, being on the other side now –I am so grateful I didn’t.
I worked my you know what off, reading, researching,(SEARCHING IN GENERAL). Adding to the 20 + years I had already racked up trying to save my marriage.
And then I discovered 3 simple secrets:
Find your passion
Understand you can’t change the world or anyone in it, except you
Let go of the past (including that sense of failure or deep desire to blame) in favor of a future.
I share these three things with gusto – ALL THE TIME.
Why? Because I went through the “Top 10 most stressful things that can happen to you in your lifetime”, list in about a 3-year period
AND I survived. I now am blissfully married, living my dream in an amazing house an hour outside Paris. Don’t think you can do it? Try this simple exercise below.
Food for Thought Timeline:
Draw a horizontal line on a piece of paper and put 0 on the left and 100 on the right. They stand for years. (imagining that with today’s science you could easily live to 100) Now, plug your age on the line, how many years are left?
I am betting you have SO MUCH LIFE AHEAD, and so much to do with it.
To steal from Karen Lamb – “A year from now, you will wish you had started today.”
PS – So, if you want to start today, here’s a link for a complimentary call. Happy dance all around! (Oh yeah, and don’t forget Aunt Dorothy’s gift.)