What you are about to read is what I call my “12 Step Program”. I borrowed the notion from AA, although it is actually only 9 steps. I didn’t steal AA’s concepts, just the conceptual framework.
After looking at my journey to reach Paris closely, I realized it was a step by step process. I didn’t just wake up one day and say to myself, “Self, today we are going to move to Paris.”
When my journey began, I was so far from even the idea of moving to Paris, if you had suggested it, I would have laughed out loud. I was so busy trying to keep all the balls in the air, do the right thing and fit in, that I didn’t even know what I wanted, much less how to get it. I had all those little voices telling me what I needed to do, what I had to do, what was required of me, expected of me. They whispered in my ear how irresponsible I was to even think of any.
It took me 7 years to get to Paris. The first one was being real with myself. It wasn’t a self absorbed journey. In fact, it was quite the contrary. What I discovered when I finally got naked with my myself about who I was and what I was (and was not) capable of doing, it was like turning on the lights in New York city. I didn’t suddenly have more hours in the day. I simply had more day, because I wasn’t working so hard so be things I couldn’t be.
It is truly amazing how much energy is required to live a life that we allow someone, or ones, to design for us.
Perhaps you can relate? Or maybe I’ the only one who looks for patterns to connect the dots.
In any case, my goal in sharing this story with you is to help you by pass a few of the steps I took, because what I discovered was that the secret to being me was there all along. It just took a few bumps and bruises. Oh, who the hell am I kidding.. I was skidding down a highway, to go where I thought I wanted to go, but as it turned out, it wasn’t the right highway.
So, if anything I tell you resonates and can help you avoid unnecessary detours, I am happy.
To begin, ask yourself these questions:
- What do I want?
No, what do I really want?
No, seriously, what do I really want?
Don’t freak out about your answers, and don’t write down what you think you should want. You can shred this as soon as you write it down. This is not a goal quest. This is a gut check.
What do you really, really want? If it makes you feel a little guilty, or afraid for saying it, it’s probably the truth. If it doesn’t, dig a little bit deeper.
Maybe you can ask it this way..
What would make your life read like a New York Times Best-selling novel?