Five sure signs you are suffering from Marital Fatigue
- The idea of a date night sounds like more work than fun
- Sex is a foreign concept (and you are okay with that)
- Your kids are the only thing keeping you from running away from home and creating a secret life living at the YWCA
- You mentioned a counselor but guess what? He says he isn’t unhappy, so he doesn’t need to go.
- Every time your boss or a male co-worker runs home to do some trivial little thing for his wife you resent it.
I bet when you said “I Do” you never expected you would one day want to “un” tie the knot with the man you married. No one walks down the aisle with those thoughts.
But 10-20 years, 1+ kids later and the notion of becoming “unknotted” sounds like sweet release. That is why women are twice as likely to initiate divorce. We feel the edges in marriage more deeply than men do.
The biggest problem for women in marriage is that we tend to take on everything. The kids, the dog, the house, and half the costs of living. We embrace that very old marketing propaganda that the only way to be a good wife is if we “bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan and never, ever let him forget he’s a man”. What a load of horse hockey that is.
When we start to look around and realize we spend more time trying to “be something” than we do “being someone”, throwing in the towel seems like the best, easiest and most delightful solution.
After all, we have tried the things that don’t work, “talking to him”, trying to tease him into guilt (or just plain outright guilt). We plead, coerce, threaten, write letters and attempt outside help. Typically what we get is a big fat nothing.
But what might happen if we just forgot about him altogether? What if we became so focused
on us, we just flat out didn’t have time to give two hoots what he did?
I know, you are probably saying something like, “well yeah, in a fantasy world that is exactly what I would do. But the kids should be cared for. The bills must be paid. I can’t just run off to a desert island and hope when I return he will be fixed.
But here is a question to ponder. How much energy do you expend every day in a negative place thinking about what he said, didn’t say, do or didn’t do? If it is more than 10 minutes, it might be time for a change.
Changing your focus to you, what you need, want, desire, like, can’t live without, etc. has profound impact on, guess who. Yep, that would be you.
So, what if I showed you a way that didn’t require surgery, divorce, a mental hospital or the YWCA? Would you be interested?
If so, join our “Write Your Life” challenge. You don’t have to be a writer. There is no critique. There are no judges. Period.
It is 30 minutes a day for five days of pure self __(fill in the blank here)___reflection, expression, appreciation, and a whole lotta fun.
It starts June 4 and runs through June 8. You will receive a prompt every day, take a photo of your submission, post it in the FB group and Voilà! Yep, it’s that easy.
During the five days you will learn how to set up a ritual for yourself that everyone else has to work their schedule around (Which isn’t the way things usually run, right?)
You will dive back into some of the things that bring you joy.
You will begin to rediscover the parts of you that you may have given up for job, family or country (oops, that was supposed to say society…LOL)
You will be able to pop off any questions that come up in the FB group and I will be there as quick as a hummingbird (ok, maybe not fast, but as quickly as possible) to answer them for you.
You will be part of a community of super cool, like minded women like yourself who are in the same place in life you are. We will hang out, share some laughs and support each other whole heartedly. You might even discover a new bestie in the group.
Oh, and there are prizes, all the way from Paris, fun things from a Paris perfumery that has been around since 1926, chocolates, wine, all those things a girl needs to be reminded, “hell yeah, I’m worth it.”
I hope to see you there! Here’s a link to register.