What do you see when you look in the mirror?

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Where are You in the Fairytale you dream of? We talked about Step One last time, but here’s a short recap:

Step #1 Find what lights you up.

(if you missed it you can read the whole story here)

It can be anything that makes your heart sing. You are wonderfully and fearfully created. There is not now, nor will there ever be anyone else like you. Never, ever.

So find what makes your heart sing and sing out to the world. Be the magnificent queen you are. (If you need a little direction to get started, let’s chat.)

Step #2 Let go of the past – IN FAVOR OF A FUTURE.

But wait, you may be saying. “I can’t let go of it. I try, but my mind just keeps going back to last night’s argument.”

I understand. I spent years in that place. But take a deep breath, because I want to tell you, yes, my dear one, you can. I did. I can teach how.

First, it helps to know that your past exists only in your memories of it. So, if those memories are causing you pain today, letting go of it to focus on where you want to go instead of where you have been is the greatest gift you can give yourself.

What does that mean in real terms?

Releasing anything anyone has ever said or (not said) that hurt you.

I told the story of how my first marriage ended and the wonderful life changing summer I spent in Paris.

Unfortunately, we assume that once we have found our prince we will ride off into the sunset. We forget that finding the prince and living happily ever after are not instantaneous. The heroine still goes through a period of darkness.

And if you notice, the only way we, or the heroines in fairytales, begin to emerge from emotional darkness is by letting go of what has already been said or done. It is the only way to break the spell.

The past is just that, past. Holding on to it doesn’t give us what we want. You can’t unmarry your husband. (I know you’ve thought about it – smile) Nor can you “undo” the years you feel you’ve wasted.

No, lovely one, you are not failing. There is nothing wrong with you. You are on a journey. And now you are choosing a new path. You get to decide from this moment on, what that journey looks like.

And that, is where you want to put your energy.

How does that happen?

Whenever you find yourself rehashing “old stuff” that brings you pain, or creates a feeling you don’t want, take these steps-

1. Write it down and look at it in black and white.
2. Pull out the facts, just the facts ma’am (ever seen a “Dragnet” re-run?).

For example, if you are rehashing an argument it might look like this:

  • I am married.

  • My husband said some words.

  • I said some words.

You can then ask yourself this question.

  • What are my thoughts about the facts?

  • What am I making what my husband said mean?

Because that dearest, is what is causing you pain – those thoughts.

AND that is the past you are holding on to, painful thoughts. Let go of them and take your beautiful energy in another direction. You can. I know you can. You don’t have to do it alone. If you don’t know how to begin, I have tools to teach you.

I’ll be back to share step #3.

Until then – Gros Bisous!

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